Rhymes With Fuchsia

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

U is for Uninformed

Most of the time while standing in line at the drugstore or the grocery store I am thinking about what to have for dinner, or what to knit next, or whether my 401k will ever rise again — I suppose I should be glad still to have one, even if it seems I am contributing to it so that it will have money to lose — but now and then I snap out of my mundane daze long enough to notice the scandal sheets conveniently placed next to the cash registers.

More specifically, I notice that I haven't a clue who any of these people are. All right, I know who Michael J. Fox is, and Miley, only because I have a 12-year-old daughter, and I think that might be Oprah, whom I do more or less recognize after seeing her picture regularly for 20-odd years, although I've never watched her show. But the rest of them, I may or may not have heard their names or be vaguely aware that they sing or act or something like that, although what exactly I couldn't tell you. I haven't the dimmest notion who Heidi and Spencer are, or what details US Weekly proposes to reveal, or why I should care. My explanation for this has always been that I have enough trouble keeping track of my own affairs without interesting myself in other people's, but clearly I am deficient in this area. To be sure, my affairs center on meal planning and low finance, while theirs presumably involve, well, affairs; I still prefer the charms of a boring existence.

When it comes to self-beautification, the other major topic addressed by this literature, I do no better. I wash my hair daily with shampoo readily available in the very same store (aisle 3), and I hope that makes it healthy and shiny enough to pass muster, although I don't quite fathom how dead cells can be said to be healthy. Never once in my (mumble) years have I had my nails done. I have no desire to glam up my life (see above: boring is good), and there's no way on this planet you're getting me to take a naked quiz.

You'll just have to live with me with my clothes on. Can we talk about knitting?


  • I suppose your approach is better than mine, since those magazines usually send me into a raving fit about how our culture's obsession with women's bodies is so very harmful, and how every magazine seems to be hawking a weight loss miracle which inevitably will only make you unhealthier and...at this point The Husband usually starts rolling his eyes and trying to distract me with shiny objects.

    By Anonymous Imbrium, at 1:03 AM  

  • My grocery store doesn't have magazines at the check out ! yay! I don't know who anyone is and I don't care.

    By Blogger Margene, at 7:47 AM  

  • I have no idea who current singers or actors are, and there's a whole category of people who are famous for ??? People who don't really do anything but go to soirees and get their pictures taken. I am old and unhip and so not with it. And I remember life before cellphones and computers and TV. We were too busy fending off the Dire wolves to be entertained, right?

    By Blogger Roxie, at 9:43 AM  

  • I'm with you - right on ;)

    By Anonymous Joy, at 10:50 AM  

  • I have to join you there.

    The only thing I notice about these magazines is how often they have a diet plan and a big gooey extravagant recipe featured on the same cover!

    By Blogger Alwen, at 11:02 AM  

  • You forgot to comment on Total Body Sex.

    By Blogger Laurie, at 5:40 PM  

  • I've always been grateful for sensitive skin that cannot tolerate "glam" crap. I save a lot of time and money by going sans glam. I'm happily uninformed right along with you. And quite comfortable with you with your clothes on.

    By Anonymous Chris, at 8:35 AM  

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